In our ongoing research into Untold Horror, we have uncovered a variety of projects which for better or worse went unrealized. Many of them only exist in pitch material artwork if nothing else. This ongoing series, entitled “Unknown Untold”, will shine a light on artwork for movies that never existed beyond what is seen on the page.
If you have any further knowledge of any of the images posted, please let us know – Email firstname.lastname@example.org with any details you may have about these projects!
“Whacked out Mutants on a Rampage Without Credit Cards”
– Tagline for “L.A.B.C”
… Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it?
It’s been a while, but today we’re back with another addition to our “Unknown Untold” series. Taking a look back at some of the amazing and evocative artwork created for trade magazines, for films that were never realized.
Today, we’re looking at what would have been a Charles Band produced film under the “Beyond Infinity” and “Titan Productions” banners. Credits for both companies line-up with other Empire-Era Band films, such as Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Breeders, Robot Holocaust, and Robot Holocaust, during the mid-late 1980s.
And looking at this poster – it certainly fits the look and feel of all those films. Implications of over-the-top, insane violence and gruesome fun, with monsters and mutants. Next to Cannon Films, the most fun delving into some of these old trade magazines is finding Sales art for Band productions – is seeing some of the wild artwork for movies that never were…. And some of the unrelated sales art for films that were.
I mean, a side note.. But take a look at this Variety advertisement for Ghoulies. So much… and maybe 1% (The titular Ghoulies and house, I guess?) of it is actually related to the final product.
Getting back to L.A. B.C – let’s just pretend that everything in this poster is happening in the movie. A brief synopsis, as seen on the artwork itself…
“Even though most of them were strangely mutated, the people of Los Angeles survived a nuclear bombardment. Now the few unaffected people must fight their way out of the city.
Okay, I’m interested.
It’s Escape from New York (er… I guess Escape from LA would be more fitting), and a whole host of post-apocalyptic zombie / monster movies mixed in a blender. And damn.. that seems like fun!
Looking at the image on the poster… An (assumed) mutant poses mightily with a parking meter hoisted high above his head. His body ravaged by scars of the “nuclear bombardment” including a wound that exposes several ribs (?!). All this, and he is wearing short shorts.
In some alternate universe, there are dozens of Gym Short Mutant sequels, along with Trancers and Pupper Masters, thanks to Charles Band.
Looking a little further to the listed credits. Generally, this is where we can gain some insight into the creative team…. However this one seems to be a different story.
I cannot find any background on the listed production team. Director George Kerrigan – nothing. Screenwriter Nan Rankin- nope. Producer Rober Estess – you guessed it, a ghost (or misspelling?)
So in the end, as we are with most of the projects covered in Unknown Untold – we are left with nothing but an amazing piece of art, and our imaginations. And honestly, perhaps for the better, that’s all we are left with… and the thoughts of the Gym Shorts Mutant and the endless possible adventures he had.